The girl without the dragon tattoo

Year 2000 and I moved to a new locality. Instantly I fell in love with it. It was so refreshing to see the neighborhood guys playing cricket and the huge playground they had to play. As generally we don’t find grounds to play in my city. The crowded shops, the video game joints, pani-puri stalls, my new locality had it all. I then met the girl, the girl without the dragon tattoo:  A cute and bubbly girl with short hair held using a hair band; all her crooked teeth braced together to make it even prettier, her animated eyes when she smiles could make any heart melt.

There is something about her that made others instantly forgive and forget all the troubles she caused. Imagine a fourth grade girl walking up to the vegetable vendor and asking him to give her a tomato to eat and telling him that,” I will not pay for it. And if you don’t give it for free, god will poke your eyes” A girl, who has the nerve to break a television, a girl who can walk up to a guy and challenge him for a bicycle race. She is a definitely one of a kind. The day she asked me for a cycle race I had a feeling that I would be friends with her. Strangely, I never took the initiative to talk to her (probably didn’t have the balls). Now back to the bicycle race, I started the race well before time, as irony has it, that was the first and last time she will ever chased me. Though, I must say that I was never interested in girls due to my shy and studious nature. I was so innocent that the only chemistry I knew was between chemical elements and not opposite sexes. If ISO audits the behavior of guys, I would be taken as the benchmark.

We started spending time together and with every passing day we grew closer. The friendship bloomed with time and so did her dad’s business. Sadly for me, they shifted to a better locality far away from my home. Then for the first time in my life, I knew how hard it is to fill the void created by a person, when they leave. But time is the best medicine. Though the first few months were boring as hell, the memories faded with time and I had forgotten her completely. At least, that’s what I thought though. A few years passed by and my life had changed a lot, personality included. I was not the same shy boy anymore. I was turning confident or arrogant, or you may call it, I started having an opinion.

The guy who said ’two people meant to be together, will be together ‘, is a genius. And boom she was back, this time I had to use a new set of adjectives to draw a mental picture. Beautiful and classy rather than cute and bubbly. The adolescence wave had hit her too, the talkative and naughty girl was now a silent and shy person. I so loved the changed demeanor and so did the other guys (guys if you ever do it again, I will find you and kill you).

The only reason I still respect the board exams is that she shifted to her relative’s place to prepare for it. So boom, she became my neighbor again. Though I have turned arrogant, showing attitude towards girls is a sin *winks, pretty girls* and moreover I was genuinely excited. So as soon as I met her, I gave a nice wide smile. She gave me a surprised and disgusted look and walked away. My male ego was badly hurt, visible bruises zero, internal bruises hard to count. I promised myself that I will never ever and ever again smile at her. And you would definitely know that arrogant people can be very adamant too, my determination level was on a life time high. Few weeks passed by and it was very awkward even when we met accidentally. I avoided looking at her and tried my best to show her that I am avoiding her. Few days passed by and all of a sudden, I heard a sweet voice calling out my name. Involuntarily, I knew it was her. She waved and asked if she could borrow my newspaper. My shameless hand responded and I obliged like a dog. I broke my promise to my own self (‘shame shame puppy shame, all the monkeys know your name’ one part of me was teasing the other part). This newspaper borrowing became a routine, not that I was complaining. I was enjoying it even. After a few weeks a tiny smile and a dangerous blush accompanied the routine. Though I didn’t have any feelings for her, any guy would have few minor heart attacks if a pretty girl smiles.

I was in doubt whether she is in love or just a shy sweet girl. Moreover my mom always warned me that,” Even if girls fall in love but they will study, but guys wont. You are already 65% and if you fall in love, gone baby gone.” But before my mind can process any of this, heart started its betrayal (God used china made processor for mind, but snapdragon processor for heart). Within a span of few weeks, I developed the blushing syndrome too. The only job I had was to wait for her to come and collect the newspaper. I am probably one of the best newspaper delivery boys that the world has never seen. Now we started exchanging smiles and glances, nuclear fission will be put to shame in comparison to the number of reactions that were taking place inside me every single time she smiled.

After a year I walked up close to talk to her, I gave her a year’s so that she can be comfortable, as you already know I knew no fear. Okay, I never got the courage, she spoke to me. She asked me if I could fill in her scrap book. And I wrote, ‘the things that I love are cars, bikes and you’. I felt so complete, I thought my job was done. And I was confident that she would call me to tell me that even she is in love. My city looked greener, the sky bluer, everything was so perfect. But breaking hearts is easier than peeling the skin of a banana for girls. She didn’t call and she didn’t even bother to smile. But I got a text from her and it read ‘hello brother’ (Sad emoticon + Crying emoticon + Angry emoticon = my face). Animated movies show that heart breaks perfectly in the middle, into two equal halves. But in reality, it looks like pieces of Lays after Mr.Inzamam Ul Haq had sat on it.

But when you are even close to a person as awesome as me you are bound to fall in love. Ha I know you cannot throw tomatoes and eggs on me while reading a blog. But the process of making a girl understand your love and to convince her that life is going to be perfect ever after is a tough job indeed. All I can stay is it takes time and it is worth the wait. And when it happens, she attains full power, you will never regret giving her the key to the crazy ride called life. Because that what makes you complete. She becomes your second mother, first critic and primary banker. That girl doesn’t have to have a perfect ass, doesn’t have to look like a model, doesn’t have to be a fashion icon, and doesn’t have to pose like a duck. All she has to do is just turn up and your arteries will start its job. Even scuba diving or racing doesn’t provide you the equivalent amount of rush that a single eye contact from girl you love could. She will walk into your life for sure. When she does hold on tight, like you would hold on to a branch of a tree if you know that if you leave it, you will die. Because, in the good times you can have fun with anyone, but in the bad times you can have fun with only ‘THE ONE’.

By now you know it is a happy ending. But still, the messages

Girl without dragon tattoo: Hi. U der?                                                                                                    

Boy: No.

Girl: Pls listen to me.

Boy: What do you want? Just leave me alone. You told me you don’t have any feelings right.

Girl: Not that, I am afraid. Tat is wat I meant.

Boy: Afraid of what?

Girl: Whether this would work out? I don’t want 2 get into smtg and walk out with a broken heart.

Boy: * jumps up and down* you called me brother and now you are telling me that you are afraid. Trying to fool me again? But all I can tell is that I love you and we will be happy together. Trust me.

Girl: Okay J J

Boy: Okay? Meaning what?

Girl: U already know.

Boy: *typing*

Girl: I love you, always have been you (Received June27, 2008).

Cultural roots

     People say that sport is a great leveler, I disagree. According to me, grandmothers are the greatest levelers. Who else has the nerve to call an expensive curved phone a defective piece? My grandmother, maternal to be precise, born and brought up in a small beautiful town called Kollangode in Kerala, is a seventy year old dame. Sporting a turtle framed spectacles. Long grey hair, white sari, wrinkled but beautiful skin, medium -sized temple and beautiful eyes. She definitely is a stunner at seventy, couldn’t help but imagine of how my grandfather would have been the focal point of envy among other guys in his days when he got engaged to my grandmother. Use any adjective that is synonymic to beautiful, and she would fit in.    

You guys have no idea on the number of degrees I did sitting at home. Right from entrepreneurship, interior designing, sarcasm engineering, story-telling, jugaad technology and many more. You know what an awesome student I am (55 percent aggregate with an equivalent amount of KT), I am sure you are excited to know how this child prodigy pulled it off. But be very sure that I will not let the truth spoil the beautiful journey of this twenty-four genius. Ha just kidding, well, this is how.  I did my Bachelor of Engineering in Electronics and Communication, no surprises there. Now the big question, why did a guy like me who does not know to use the television remote properly take up electronics? My mom made me believe “no engineering degree no wedding bells, no girl will ever marry a non-engineer.” Still couldn’t find the logic behind my mom tying the knot with a high school drop-out. Relatives showered support “Choose E&C you can either go into hardware or software”.  But my college called me a misfit and didn’t bother to shape me up. With nothing else to do, I chose to graduate from the university called life, since my life was already screwed (the word which rhymes with duck is what I intend to say), The University called Grandmother was the only option. Not only did this university provide me all the degrees but also fed me at regular intervals.

Most grandmothers are very knowledgeable in various fields and if you are very lucky like me, she can be a banker to the poor (me) unlike the RBI (dad) who lends to other banks (mom, uncle).

The entrepreneurship degree- the whole exercise of watching her sell old newspapers and buying new plastic items from the salesman. Sustainability- using smaller cups when the coffee made is less compared to the people present. Interior designing- getting this degree was a bit scary. I learnt this when she made my hookah pot the flower vase and placed it on the dining table with a feeling of accomplishment on her face. God was so kind that my parents were out of town during the interior designing course. But, the most important lesson is to love even the small things you do, whether making a phone call or serving people food she enjoys it every bit.

My mom caught me red handed while on a date with my girlfriend (ex now) boom started the drama, endless crying, persuasion, mental conditioning and intimidation. I decided to talk to my grandmother about it, told her how serious I am about the girl and she was more than happy to help me out. My new found love guru called my mom and had only one thing to ask “If he shouldn’t fall in love now, when should he? After becoming old like you? ”. My mom hollered “You do not know how to raise a child”. My mom should have known, never battle grandma, grandmother with her sheepish grin delivered the sucker punch “Very true, guilt surrounds me every single time I see you”. This was enough to keep my mom away from my love life forever. The sharing of my love life with my grandmother made her more comfortable in sharing her own story with me. Right from love, pain to the meals she has skipped to feed her children. This made me realize how lucky I am. To be able to eat all three meals every day is in itself a big blessing.

 Thirty-five years old, widowed, five young children to nurture. Most people would have asked for help from relatives or send their children to work. But not this Iron Lady. She had a vision, and it was to provide quality education to her children, when she herself didn’t go to school beyond the second grade. My grandmother starting her own food outlet at the age thirty-five is no less than Ray Kroc at the age fifty-two based on the influence it has brought over my family. Waking up at 4 AM in the morning and preparing the required items for the food outlet, getting her children ready early so that she could go and look after her business. Management experts say managing finances is the toughest job for any start-up, and that is her forte. No business degree, never read a management book. Was she lucky? Was she street smart? No one knows. But it is the same case with other entrepreneurs as well right. More than being called a biz woman, I would call her an awesome leader and a great observer. She is a great lover of cricket and she used to look at all the 20-20 matches and tell me if this format is like a gamble, it is better to select people who could hold their nerves than people with excellent skill. Dhoni said the same thing few months later in a post match interview. You got no idea the goose bumps I had when Dhoni said that. After three years, things started looking up. With her dynamic personality and hardworking nature success couldn’t hide itself anymore. Beyond the money, it was all about giving her children good education and getting them married to the right person. To pull off five Indian weddings is as tough as running the Kingfisher Airlines.

Be it the rhythmic snores, the curious glances at the smart phones, the way she kidnaps the sweet box inside her room, the assurance she gives to my mother, that, I was studying the whole day when all I did was watching football over her delicious bhajjis.  I love it all, so genuine and childlike. Maybe all grandmothers aren’t so much fun. But one thing they are. They are all awesome in their own right.